He is jealous for me

hmm i can't seem to believe those words..

this song "How He loves" is really jacking me up, really making me realize how much God loves me.. ive listened to this song probably at 25 times already... FOr some unknown reason. im not allowing myself to cry, im not allowing myself to actually let the words wash over me

on friday, after i wrote my wonderful blog i decided to go to the River at my church, i had no idea who was going to be there, but i knew, i just knew that God wanted me to go, and the fact that i had no plans and everyone else was busy, so what better way to spend a few hours with Jesus, nothings better right??

so i hurry on over, i take the scenic route to church, admiring God's beauty in the skies and mountains. i love my boulder landscape...


anyways.. i was at the church, obviously im the only "young one" there.. meaning anyone older than me would be 25 and up... thats a big age difference.. but theres something about worshipping God with the elders of the church, worshipping God with a whole different generation than my "generation" everyone "makes fun" of the river becasue of their choice of music, but to be honest, if you can't worship because of the music then theres something wrong and you need to look and examine your spirit.

once again, anyways.. im there for about a half and hour and Jason and Megan walk in, im very thankful for this because by this time i don't really know anyone, besides the fact that i do feel very young in this room. so i see Jason and Megan and im very happy..

an hour goes by, Jason grabs his guitar and goes on stage, i KNEW exactly what he was about to do, he was going to see "How He Loves" because that song is everyones favorite..

like i said before i can't seem to understand why i can't really believe these words, for some reason i have a wall..

anyways.. He starts to sing it, He then says "if theres anyone who doesn't believe these words come up to the fron to be prayed for" i immeadeatly start to sob, not because Jesus is touching my heart and loving on me.. no im sobbing because im desperate to believe these words.

"He is Jealous for me,
Love like a hurricane, i am a tree
standing beneath the weight of his wind and mercy,
when all of sudden i am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and i realize just how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me."


How He loves us so..

this song is my song.

this song is your song.

this SONG is a LOVESONG..




now why can't i just believe the words..

every time i hear this song my heart gets softer and softer.. its a long process, but one of these days i will believe it..


peace.