pressure is building

with the school year coming to an end in less than 30 days. its inevitable that i start to stress out.. i have so much to do in so little time. pressure is coming at me everywhere

my parents,
my teachers,
my friends

everywhere is pressuer and i just can't seem to relax. sometimes i like to stay busy, but today i finally broke down. and thank god annick was there right in time. it was definately a God thing that she was there right when i wanted to break down.

this morning i started to get really bitter and mad, for some strange reason.

everyone has really high expectations of me.. or at least i do.

"sara you better be studying for the SAT's and ACT's."
"sara what are you doing to do better in school?"
"sara why can't you go to softball this afternoon.. thats a commitment of yours too"
"hey sara can we get coffee, i need to talk to you about something."


great.. i mean i love hanging out with people..

but lately ive been letting people walk all over me, meaning "sara i don't have any money, will you buy this for me?" what am i supposed to do if we are already at the the place and they don't have any money..

people know how to manipulate me and get what they want from me..

i try and bless people when things like this happened.. im tired of giving so much of me, when no onegives back in return.. i feel horribly guilty cause i blew almost 70 dollars this weekend because of guilt trips people had on me..

great... that was my birthday money.. i feel really guilty that i used that on other people.. i really haven't had any time for myself lately and its starting to wear me down..

the thing is... ive learned i can't say no when the situation is staring me in the face cause if i say no, "way to be a selfish bitch sara" will come out of someones mouths.. its ineveitable.. i can't help it.. so i try and be a good friend.. and do the
"right thing"