this morning was a wierd christmas for me. I got alot of neat stuff which im really grateful for but its kinda hard when the person right next to you is getting EVERYTHING that you asked for.
don't get me wrong im so happy with the things i got for christmas. but it was such a strange feeling for me because i think the thing that really got to me was that people who get everything they want they're not very happy with it. they don't realize how lucky they are they even got something.
after my family and i opened presents i walked into my room. i felt like crying without even knowing why.. i hated that feeling, i hated feeling jealous, I was just really mad at myself for being jealous because there are so many kids who didn't even get any christmas presents. i felt like a spoiled brat this morning, for complaining in my head about not getting what i wanted. I hate that I felt that way
I am grateful for what i got. but my fleshly desire and jealousy kicked in, and i hate it. it hurts me that i felt this way..
maybe im just a dork. and too emotional but something just happened to me and i did not like how i was behaving.
this is all too weird for me.
i got the one thing that i really wanted and it was a ring.
i got everything i wanted.
this is a confusing blog.
but getting what i wanted didn't satisfy me.
i hope you don't read this thinking that im ungrateful, because i am SO grateful. i just hated that i let my emotions control me this morning.
i wish you all a very merry christmas.
sara
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hey sarah. I liked this blog because there have been moments when I can relate. Not really on Christmas so much, but during my day to day life. The good thing is you recognized that its not okay to feel like you don't have what you want. God provides us with everything we need...and everything else is just the icing on the cake. But like you said, there are so many people who won't ever even open one present in there lifetime. You have a good heart in knowing this... now, to get a little physcological on you...the way you were feeling was most likely steming from something deeper inside. Not the fact that your jelous of the gifts, but maybe your just feeling a little less loved than you need to be. Its important that the people in your life know how to love you, because we all feel love in different ways (ever read the 5 love languages??) Do some self discovering to find out how you best love and best are loved by others. Do you appreciate compliments? Do you appreciate gifts or things people do for you most? Or maybe you appreciate when someone hugs you or just wants to hang out with you. All of these are different ways we feel love. My guess..your just feeling a little empty, and Christmas morning just confirmed that for you. But you are obviously an amazing person to even realize that you DO have all that you need. Maybe you just need a little love sarah beara!!
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